I had been on the spiritual path for about 20 years or so when I came across Teal’s “Why Don’t We Remember Our Past Lives Ask Teal video. Her energy resonated with me and I instantly felt like what she was saying made energetic sense. Shortly after watching the video, I listened to her Houston online synchronization workshop. It felt like home listening to Teal. Her energy was warm, compassionate and inviting. She explained things in a way that made both intellectual and emotional sense.I met her in person at her NY workshop. I felt like even though I wasn’t onstage, my questions were answered and I started to feel my emotional life shift. I had always been a very positive person but underneath that positivity was a lot of pain that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. Teal’s teachings, her willingness to answer my questions on Facebook and her help during dreams and meditations has helped me uncover deeply suppressed emotions that have held me back unknowingly my whole life. Although I appeared to be a very high functioning member of society, I was harboring intense pain that was covered by a mask of positive affirmations. Teal has done more to help me face my shadows than any other spiritual teacher because she isn’t afraid to stay present with people who are in intense pain, self hatred and provide the tools to help their healing. In the three years that I have been following her work, I have witnessed some of her biggest fans attack and turn on her, use her processes against her and question her past and her motives. In that same time, Teal has never stopped doing her own shadow work, sharing her discoveries with the public and lending a helping hand to those who are in pain and who have given up hope that life can feel good after trauma. She has remained unwavering in her commitment to raise the vibration of this planet. I have attended or watched almost every workshop since I’ve saw that first Houston workshop. She continues to grow and evolve as a human being and teacher and provide new ways for people to heal. She has remained consistent in her approach that everyone has their own answers and are the source of their own wisdom but never abandons those who seek her help. I have grown tremendously in the last three years since following her work and have become very skilled in helping others using her tools and methods that promote self love and integration.
I met Jessica Schab a few years ago in Toronto after noticing her doing an interview with Lilou Mace as a Crystal Child. I emailed her and the day after we met in Toronto. She charged me $120.00 to do energy work and I drove her to another appointment right after north of the city. We met a few more times over a few months. Jessica was either late or would not show up on time saying it was because of being a crystal child and not being of this dimension.
I found her to be ungrounded and spaced out for the most part. At the time I had started a blog called Massage Planet News and also e-transferred her $80.00 to do a video interview about her healing abilities. Over time she showed severly erratic behaviour and when she met Diego Fontanive in Bali she blocked many of her former friends and contacts that had helped her financially and emotionally. Finally this year she has posted numerous slanders, threats and harassment against her ex-boyfriend Gus (all charges and court documents filed against her are here: http://www.gusmouskos.com) and others or other spiritual teachers she deems as competition such as Teal Swan. I have not received a receipt for my services.
In order to protect individuals from slander, financial extortion and abuse we have now reached a point where we had to work together and stop this behavior as it has injured many over time and also to protect anyone from being a victim of her scams and end of fear foundation which is not registered as a professional business or non profit foundation as she claims.
I met Teal in June, 2014 when she came to Chicago. I was the ground director for that particular workshop, and was so excited to have Teal in my city. Having read her book and watched her YouTube channel since 2011, I was ecstatic for an opportunity to meet her in person. After all, discovering Teal’s materials were what got me out of a long depression, years of psychiatric cocktail medications and a very troubling obesity problem. After discovering Teal’s materials, I cured my depression, got off my meds, lost 100 pounds and became a health nut vegan who wanted to help everyone feel as amazing as I felt. I always felt like Teal was reminding me of the things I always innately knew, albeit from a spiritual esoteric perspective, but nonetheless, I used her teachings to completely turn my life around.
Long before Teal and I met on a breezy summer afternoon at O’Hare International Airport, we exchanged emails. I was in the lowest point of my life, and she took time to reply to all my emails patiently, lovingly and helpfully. She gave me hope and inspiration to be authentic. Her kindness is something I will remember forever.
Teal and I quickly became friends. We clicked almost immediately on the car ride from the airport talking shit about how much flying and the airline industry in general sucks. Teal and I are sassy kindred spirits and I love spending time with her. She is the only person I know who one moment can make me laugh but can also drop teachings and wisdom on me that brings me to tears. She is a generous soul who literally never stops giving. Teal has cooked me dinners designed solely to make me feel happy, has helped me improve my snowboarding technique, has spent hours skyping me and reassuring me I’m on the right path, and is infinitely generous– always treating me to incredible opportunities.
I have spent extended time in Teal’s house and have seen her first-hand in her environment. She is an artist first and foremost, a total Gemini indigo who is a force of nature with her art. Teal works harder than anyone I’ve ever seen in my life. The rate of her producing, whether its videos, blogs, articles, books, teachings, processes, paintings, etc is incredible. Teal is a fierce businesswoman who supports not only herself and her dynamic career but also her son and her entire household.
Teal loves her son Winter more than words can say. I’ve watched her hold him tight and whisper in his ear how much she loves him, how she’ll always keep him safe and how he is the most wonderful boy on earth. And I agree. Winter is the spitting image of his mother. I love taking him on hikes and listening to him tell me stories and creating scenarios. He has such a vivid imagination and a beautiful relationship with his mother. Teal is a model mother figure and loves nothing more in this life than her son. She would drop everything—her career, fame, friends—just for her son. Winter is the most important part of Teal’s life. I’ve watched Teal break down crying while we’ve traveled for workshops because she misses Winter so much. I just think you really don’t know Teal until you’ve seen her with her son. She is raising him to be an upstanding, authentic and compassionate man.
Working for Teal is a whirlwind. She moves fast and I love trying to keep up! But it’s important to mention that she is human. I think social media and the Internet paints an incomplete image of Teal. She survived unfathomable abuse and devastation as a child and lives to tell the tale. While most of us can ride the wave day to day, Teal’s waves are tsunamis. Her processes have essentially given her an opportunity to live a life where she can laugh, love and create. But she pays a toll everyday while she works through triggers and memories. It’s both devastating and incredible to witness, and I love nothing more than staying by her side through it offering her unconditional support.
I don’t understand all this anti-Teal propaganda and lies. I’ve joked to her morbidly how it’s like we’re all back in middle school and the popular kids are bullying her again. It’s just ridiculous, if the people who criticize her could actually take a real look at who she is, there would be no question. Teal Swan is exactly who she claims to be. She has worked with me first hand and has accessed parts of me no psychologist, psychiatrist or mystic has ever been able to reach.
My family has noticed the changes in me too and has all given gratitude and thanks to Teal for bringing their son and brother back to life.
On an adorable note, Teal facilitated the meeting of my current partner, who I have been together with for three happy months. I am more in love than I have ever been in my life, and Teal has been working with both of us on our fears relative to relationships and has helped us sustain a healthy partnership we hope will be very long term.
I know from 6 months of experience living with and spending time with Teal, that, contrary to what Jessica and Cameron have claimed, she is not sociopathic, “evil”, or “insane”. I have seen her struggle through painful times, as well as many normal, average days and many particularly good times. I got to know Teal and the others personally on a gradual basis and became closer with them over time. I didn’t move to Park City to become a volunteer for Teal Eye, but wound up living there after having a session with Teal and getting along with them.
I know Teal to be a genuinely loving and compassionate person, and I witnessed and experienced her kindness and loving nature day in and day out. She is a wonderful person to spend time with and simply be around. She makes the most of every challenge before her. She is extremely dedicated to finding positive solutions to problems she is experiencing within herself, as well as the world at large. This woman is absolutely driven to heal herself and help heal the world. I was amazed and inspired by how hard she works to love and find acceptance within herself, to “practice what she preaches” when she is in a place of suffering. Just ONE example of how hard Teal works to heal and be a positive person is what I recall happening when Fallon left. After everything that happened with Fallon and he was finally out of the house, Teal was at rock bottom and completely devastated. The recent events had triggered numerous seizures, which made her physically weak and exhausted as well. She asked Winters grandparents for help to come get Winter for a week so that he would not have to see her in such a place of suffering. She did hours of writing, inner child work, and enlisted Mark’s help to process her inner child work before he went to his job. She did breathing exercises to lower her anxiety. She called her childhood best friend Lauren (who, professionally, happens to be a therapist) and asked her to come for a weekend to be an extra support and form of stability. She wrote blog entries during this time as a way of vocalizing and sharing what she had just been through and how she was recovering from the experience, in the hopes that it would help others who could relate and because it was healing. She was aware that sharing such experiences so authentically could be “career suicide” for a spiritual teacher, but she felt called to authenticity and self-expression rather than keeping the experience a secret. Blake, in addition to his usual work and supportive role, advocated for Teal during this time, communicating with all of us what Teal’s needs were during this time, and how we could be supportive. Teal worked so hard to pull herself out of this place of devastation, enabling herself using all the healing tools she was familiar with, and by asking for and receiving emotional support and encouragement from the people in the household community as well as the larger community.
Teal has shared in her blog and online how, as a result of her extensive childhood trauma, she has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I consider this personal admission of hers to be so incredibly brave, and so incredibly helpful in bringing awareness to the psychological impact of ritual abuse and childhood sexual abuse. Teal’s bravery and authenticity in sharing such vulnerable information is amazing. She has risked her career by being so open and expressive about her life, but in actuality Teal’s authenticity has helped to bring people together, to not feel ashamed or as hindered by their own traumas and personal challenges. She has bravely shone LIGHT on horrible things, empowering herself and others. Teal is brave, loving, and kind, and she acts to honor the child within her, to break the silence and societal denial of ritual abuse and sexual abuse.
I can really only tell you what my own personal experience of living there was like. I felt safe in Teal’s home. It was a positive and healing environment. That is why I spent so much time there. I was treated with gentleness and kindness, and I simply enjoyed spending time with everyone. I was treated with acceptance, kindness, and inclusion. I had isolated myself from people and friends for so long as a way to cope, so to feel comfortable enough to be in this group of friends in such a consistent way was really wonderful. It was a miracle to me at the time that I was able to withstand the anxiety of being physically and emotionally close to the same people every day. Previous to my time in Utah, the only person I felt this comfortable being so close to so often was my sister Laura. I was able to strengthen my bond with women by living in Utah and growing these friendships with Teal, Graciela, and Flavia. I am so grateful for the experience, as it came at the absolute perfect time in my life, and it gave me so much encouragement, peacefulness, as well as so much to forward to in my future in terms of human connection. I wanted so much to learn how to help and give to others, to learn how to be a friend. Teal, Blake, Graciela, Flavia, Justin, and Mark were patient friends in my life, who held space for me to grow. I am forever thankful for the experience.
Living with Teal was one of the best things I have done in my whole life. I need it so bad and the Universe gave me this present. I grew so much, I’m so much more aware of my emotions and patterns now. Teal taught me a lot about my inner children and I don’t have enough words to express my gratitude. It was not easy, because you face your shadows everyday, but so worth it! And we used to have great times too, of course, was not just shadow work all day long. We used to hike those beautiful mountains of Utah, go to Main st and have delicious food, go to the movies, go to my favorite “new age” store in SLC, Botanic Gardens, museums etc. I used to have great times with the whole family… And I miss it a LOT! That year living with Teal was equal a 10 years of therapy. I feel so special and blessed for have had this opportunity that some many people dream of.
She is not perfect; she is a human being like us with all the emotional baggage from her traumatic childhood. But it’s very inspiring and empowering to see her working on her ” issues” everyday to become a better person. She is a warrior!
I feel sorry for people who talk bad about her like Cameron. I think Cameron didn’t realize the big picture and missed a huge opportunity to work on her “shadows”. Teal used to spend hours and hours working with Cameron but I guess she was not ready to face her “demons”.
I want to thank Teal and everyone in the house for helping me to overcome some many issues. I’m a better person now because of that.
An extremely brief summary of what has happened:
I moved to Utah a little more than a year and a half ago. It all started with me having the urge to volunteer for the Santa Barbara workshop. The volunteers would do Skype calls and coordinate the positions they were going to have. That being said Flavia and I would Skype more often, we found out that we lived closed together and were over joyed with the idea that there was someone else who had similar beliefs to talk to. We also included Cameron in our conversation because she was another volunteer and we all hit it off. That being said Cameron and I seemed to vibe with each other so much that we would Skype until 4 in the morning. In one of our many Skype calls Flavia, Cameron and I randomly said that we had had the idea to move to Utah. In that moment it was just a crazy idea that we all had but soon we all learned that Teal needed volunteers and our silly idea turned into a WTF just happened moment.
Flavia and I traveled together to the Santa Barbara workshop. I was so excited to meet Cameron in person and for the workshop, this was my first real taste of freedom. Cameron suggested that I stay with her because she had an extra bed and at that time I was a student living in my parents house. The day of the workshop came and I got to meet Teal in person for the first time. If you asked anyone I was with, they would of said that I was glowing that day because I was so happy. Everything seemed to go flawlessly that was until that night. Cameron completely blew me off after the workshop and so I did not have a place to stay. I ended up staying with Flavia and her Brazilian crew. I did not pay much attention to that one event with Cameron because I was used to pacifying events and pretending that nothing had gone wrong, little did I know that that event would be a small taste of what I was in for.
The day after the workshop Teal held a book signing were I asked her if it would be a good idea for me to move to Utah. She said “yes” without any hesitations, as a matter of fact she said “yes” the three consecutive times I asked her. So I decided to moved to Utah. It felt so right for me and so in alignment that I said it would happen in two weeks and it ended up happening in those two weeks. I was on cloud 9 when I got here, it was the first time I had experienced adventure, freedom and independence, not only that I was going to finally do something that was in alignment with my beliefs. We moved to Utah as volunteers to help Teal with household tasks so she could focus more on her work. After a few weeks of getting here everything started to take an interesting turn. This guy I had met as Jared was saying that his name was now Fallon. Cameron who I had gotten to meet through our Skype calls kept insisting that she wanted to leave, however she would never actually do it and would change her mind about what she wanted to do everyday. That being said things did not stop there, Cameron was constantly having issues with Teal. Cameron said that Teal reminded her of her mother. In my opinion, Cameron was looking for a parent to nurture her and love here, but the only way she knew how to get that was through creating conflict. I can assure you that Teal was the very opposite of cruel to Cameron, she would spend hours working with Cameron on her shadows only to start again the next day because Cameron seemed to have a new issue. At the house we coined the term “going back to square one”.
Cameron was living on government handouts and claimed unemployment and never seemed to be happy, there was always something wrong with someone or something. It became apparent that Teal and Cameron could not be together because Cameron would always find a problem. We had moved here to help Teal focus on her mission and with Cameron’s problems, Teal was spending less time on her mission and more time on interpersonal conflicts within the community itself. That being said we only truly lived with Teal for two weeks at her house because during that time she had her Santa Fe Workshop. As everyone knows Justin, Flavia, Bonnie, Cameron and I all moved to an apartment close by. Even in the apartment Cameron seemed to have problems. Because she was not working and claiming unemployment checks, she was always home and so there was always one of us talking to her working with her trying to find a solution never to really find one. It came to a point were everyone was just done with the situation. We had a family meeting one night and decided to find a solution once and for all.
Cameron was the only one who had problems with the way things were going and wanted to move out everyday that is why it seemed like a logical solution for everyone for Cameron to move back home since that is what she said she wanted to do everyday. Cameron however did not think the same way, although she insisted everyday that she wanted to move back to Washington she thought it would be a better idea to kick everyone else out of the apartment. Thank God for Flavia holding half of the lease otherwise I think all four of us would have surely been out on the street. When Cameron decided that yes she did want to move out we all started to learn some every interesting truths. We found out that Cameron had been lying to each of us and started rumors to get us against each other. For example she would tell Teal that I was just like the lady that was with Selena, that I was an obsessed freak. Then she would turn around and tell me how much Teal was just using me and taking advantage of me. It was so sad to find out all of these things because of what we had developed before moving here. Cameron was the first person I actually bonded with over all of the spiritual new age stuff, she was the first person I could freely talk to about the new age movement.
It was an intense period of my life when all of that was happening. It seemed like I was on a roller coaster ride and had accidentally sat down backwards. That being said I am only now getting clarity of what really happened. Cameron was the shadow of my mother, someone who is emotionally unstable and says one thing one day and then another a different day. I have not personally watched the interview that Cameron did but I have heard that she spoke of me very poorly; the funny thing is she sent me an email after she left saying the opposite. Cameron’s actions feel very abusive to me, it feels exactly like being abused emotionally but not being able to show anyone. Cameron frequently flip-flops between hating people and loving people. That is why I have decided to make her email public, and you guys can make your opinion about it all.
About a month and a half ago, I had a couple of dreams in which you specifically expressed some very ANGRY, FRUSTRATED, and HURTFUL actions and sentiments toward me in the dreams. It was powerful enough in the Astral World to make me think these dreams were actually a reflection of how you might still feel towards me . I waited till now to write this to you, because at the end of the day, forgiveness is really only ever about forgiving ourselves. I had my work cut out for me in that regard. Over the course of forgiving myself these past couple of months for everything that happened in Utah, I recognized that I never validated your feelings or gave you the apology I feel you deserved. I was too caught up in justifying my own actions and running scared from my own shadows before I left. I am ashamed of my treatment toward you. I’ve actually even cried about it since then. My actions were cold and uncaring. I didn’t even seem to show that you ever mattered to me or that I mourned the loss of you at all… I did though. Especially when I remembered the late night google hangouts we had… I missed your laughs. I missed your sage insights, I missed your sweet hugs, and believe it or not, I even missed your hands. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that I misunderstood you and ever made you feel like anything less than the appreciated, wonderful, beautiful soul you are.
I’m still learning how to love people in this incarnation, and admittedly, I’m not very good at it. I really don’t have any references for loving relationships in my life that don’t end up hurting. I hope someday that will change. Just know I love you as much as I am capable of loving. Also know that it is not nearly as much as you deserve to be loved.
My hope is that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me, because forgiveness really does set you free!
I will always appreciate the time spent with you, and the lessons learned, so THANK YOU!!
Email From Cameron
Overall, I would not change the situation I am in for the world. Although there was that small bump in our community, this has been one major universal gift for me. I live with a group of people who have the same spiritual beliefs as I do. Everyone in this community is willing to listen to each other and work towards a common goal. After Cameron left, the community became peaceful. Here I have found a family, a family that is willing to work with me through my shadows. Teal has become the sister I never had, she has shown me connection something I have never known before. I have gotten to see what it looks like to have unconditional support and approval from parents by being here to see Winter grow up. At points I actually find myself feeling jealous of Winter because of the way he gets to grow up, it just makes the gap in my reality that much bigger.
My life has changed drastically since moving here but in the best way ever. I feel more integrated and free to be myself than I have ever felt before. I am not going to say that it is always rainbows and balloons but it is family a real family were we are together not because we have to but because we want to.
I have grown tremendously since coming here, people back home probably would not recognize me, which secretly I would love to hear. And I honestly look forward to whatever is to come because I now feel like I have a support system. Living in this community and with Teal has shown me that my world is a lot bigger than I though it was. It is also a lot more magical than I could have ever dreamed of, I am so thankful for Teal and the community she has built.
My name is Justin, and I moved from Houston, Texas to Park City, Utah to pursue a more spiritually-inspired life: my plans were skeletal, but they involved associating with the spiritual teacher Teal Scott (Teal Swan). I lived with Teal from [mid June…searching for exact date] until July 1st 2013 and since that time we have been friends. During that particular time period, I experienced many interpersonal conflicts and turmoil. But, I also witnessed or experienced many amazing triumphs of spirit, love and self-actualization. I am here now to give my perspective about that time because much has been said that is neither a true nor a fair presentation of Teal Swan.
It is my desire to comment on the context in which I write this piece. It has come to my attention that a former roommate of mine, Cameron Clark, has publically denounced Teal, stating a multitude of libelous or otherwise untrue things. For what it is worth, I will say that she has said much that is untrue about me. However, the aim of this piece is to give a clearer depiction of Teal, the nature of the interactions between Cameron Clark and Teal, as I witnessed them.
I met Teal in person in Houston in February of 2013 during a workshop that she held there. It was not until June of 2013 in Santa Fe, New Mexico that I interacted with Teal in person since meeting her. It was there that I met Cameron Clark for the first time during another of Teal’s workshops. Our conversation was friendly, albeit brief, and concerned many exciting metaphysical ideas, with emphasis on how those ideas intersected the evolution of our own lives. It was not until after I arrived in Utah that I spoke with her again.
The first conversation I had with Cameron since meeting in Santa Fe occurred when I picked her up from a car rental company in Salt Lake City, Utah. She had just arrived from New Mexico with Teal and Teal’s romantic partner Jared Dobson (Fallon Dobson). At that time, it was understood that we would all be living together and that, as a group, we shared great purpose and intention for doing so; it was not, however, at all clear what our various purposes and intentions were in coming together as we did. In this lay the seeds of tragedy.
During that conversation, Cameron relayed to me what were, basically, grievances and misgivings about Teal. I was open, receptive and even sometimes quite sympathetic to what she had to say—I had just arrived and had little idea of what to expect—and wanted to provide an empathetic ear to someone who it would seem natural to me at the time to befriend. This conversation basically set up the dynamic between us for that period of time when we lived together. She would present to me problems she had with Teal or with the others and a lengthy conversation would ensue; typically, I would try to get her to adopt a more self-empowered or solution-oriented perspective. No matter how many times we spoke, no matter which issue, she seemed to never ultimately ‘get’ the things I was attempting to relay to her.
I spoke to her often of the principles or teachings of Abraham Hicks, which had become a very solid foundation of my spiritual perspective about life. I tried to get her to see that, no matter what she had experienced, she could adopt a more empowered perspective and, in brief summary, follow her emotions to a significantly improved state of affairs—no matter what. (It is still to this day my sincerest hope she adopts this perspective.)
Even when she seemed to feel better or accept the things I would say to her, a seemingly new problem or issue would arise—one where she did not, at all, seem to remember anything that I (or the others) had tried to get her to see in previous conversations. And this did not just include abstract spiritual principles about following emotions, it also included basic details of disputed events, he said/she said type scenarios, or even what factually occurred which everyone (including herself) witnessed—she would forget or conflate numerous things whether they were brought up in conversation, or when one of us were fighting about something, or when she would relay an event to another.
I will say here that this pattern of hers shows up in her tell-all interview; again, she continues to misremember (lie about?) so many events it’s dizzying. Having lived with her myself, I don’t know what to make of it. Either she is lying, or the same pattern of eerie memory failure has, in any case, lead her to produce an extremely inaccurate and downright untrue narrative about so many events; this is really fucked up because the way she tells things makes me, Teal, Graciela and others look really bad (to put it simply). While there are indeed true things that she states, what is true is woven in with what is not true. For instance, while it is true that I began to process traumatic events from my past during this time period, these traumatic events were not revealed to me by Teal…they were rather revealed to me by Cameron. In fact, Cameron was furious (and I mean livid beyond anything else I have ever seen from her) with Teal for not telling me about these events, so it’s extremely disturbing to hear Cameron attribute to Teal what Cameron herself did.
I want to move on now from discussing Cameron (specifically) and say a little bit more about why I think such an emotionally toxic situation existed in the first place. Graciela Hernandez, Flavia Paiva, Mark Scott, and Blake Dyer were also a part of this household at the time. The main individual who brought all of us together into this particular household arrangement was Fallon (Jared) Dobson, Teal’s boyfriend at the time. He brought us all together in an extremely haphazard way. When I showed up at the Santa Fe workshop, he simply said to me ‘We have a room for you at our house, you’re going to live with us’.
I think it’s important to say at least a few more words about why I came. To this day, I’m not entirely sure why, if I am honest. What I will say is that, truly, it was the most inspired thing I have ever done in my entire life. The moment I knew I needed to, basically, pack up and leave felt to me as if the universe ripped open and poured through my head chakras and pulsated throughout my entire body in an extremely powerful sensation. I did not know what exactly was to unfold, only that I was to just show up in Santa Fe—knowing that things would ultimately work out in my favor. Lo and behold, they did. But though Jared (Fallon) was the one to give me the invitation, his intentions were, shall we say, less than inspired. Call it a bit of comical divine orchestration that things worked out as they did.
Here is my perspective: I think Fallon (Jared) wanted to bring together a group of people he could manipulate and control. This obviously blew up in his face, but his behavior towards everyone (including Cameron) was extremely unjust, cruel, manipulative and downright creepy. I had deep misgivings about him from moment I met him, but at that time, things continued to unfold for me with such power that I viewed him as being more of an extreme annoyance than a nefarious overlord. As things progressed, however, I began to basically hate him—for his behavior was obviously cruel, uncalled for, and constantly causing emotional instability in the people around him, especially for Teal. Since he and Teal were an item, it was hard to emotionally or conceptually separate them at the time, especially because he spoke for her so often (even when she had no desire to be spoken for, as I would later find out).
It’s my view that Fallon’s behavior was the cause, or at least the root cause, of all the interpersonal strife and emotional toxicity that overtook the household (an arrangement of his creation). I sympathized a lot with Cameron (for a time), because many grievances she had ultimately concerned Fallon’s behavior, and given that Fallon and Teal were a couple, it was easy to speak of them in the same breath and assume they were acting in concert. I have had many conversations with Teal since about this dynamic, about her relationship with Fallon, and about why he acted the way he did. (She has obviously openly said much since her relationship with him as well.) It can be difficult to understand why someone in her position would attract someone like Fallon, and the resultant situation, into her life.
But then, that’s just it: humans, despite their best efforts, tend to attract crap into their lives. Call it the shadow nature of humanity, if you will. Teal’s emphasis in her own body of spiritual work concerns how we may go about dealing with shadows and transmute them into something more conscious, aware, even joyful. I can testify to the fact that Teal went full strength into the practice of her own teachings when she was met with her own shadows, especially as they stood before her in the form of her own boyfriend. Did I, at the time, necessarily agree with how she handled this or that situation? No, absolutely not. In fact, we argued quite a bit.
A lot of the conflict between us could be seen on a little internet show we did called Shadow House. The general concept behind the show, at the time, was brilliant: it served as a way to deal with the emotional negativity of the situation, allowing all parties to openly work through grievances we had with each other, and follow processes to get at the deeper emotional, psychological roots behind those grievances. We sat around the table, on camera, following processes (some of which Teal had developed, some of which came from other spiritual or self-help authors/teachers) streaming to thousands of people all around the world. Sometimes I followed my own emotions and did not participate in this or that episode of Shadow House, knowing it was not right for me at the time. Nevertheless, the Shadow House idea, at it’s most basic, was something that I supported, and still think of as a brilliant way for new communities to navigate the negative emotional issues that inevitably arise when living together.
Shadow House was an attempt to create resolution through openness and dialogue. In the light of openness, even toxic emotional situations begin to lose their charge, and instead of hiding, suppressing, or covering up the issues (which only cause the issues to fester and become all the more toxic) exposing negative interpersonal situations and dealing with them directly creates a pathway to healing and solutions. At very least, Shadow House demonstrated one possible way people can broadcast learning or experimental social experiences in a way that stimulates new thought or new ideas about how to relate to one another, especially when people find themselves in new or as-of-yet untraveled paths.
When people openly broadcast their experiences, they share not only their mistakes, but also their pain, their solutions, their emotions, their ways of being with one another in a way that stimulates massive dialogue, a dialogue focused on the healing of individuals and communities. It’s my opinion that Teal spearheading this sort of experimental initiative shows her to be quite committed to the spiritual principles of openness and the healing power of exposing even one’s own messy shadows for the sake of individual and collective healing. It catapulted the entire situation into a space of solution-finding, integration, and healing at many levels for both participants and viewers alike.
It is true that living with Teal during this time period was difficult, given the emotional tumult that consumed all of us. Despite this, it was a time of deep self-discovery—one that has since produced quite a bit of shame and change in myself. Shame because the shit storm of negative publicity (created by Cameron et al.) has frankly not been flattering. Change, because it was the beginning to my life. It was a leap into following what was right for me, for following my own inner voice no matter what anyone had to say about it. Living with Teal, a master healer and teacher, was itself the very circumstance I called into my life to change into the person that I am today—a person infinitely more aware and liberated than the person I was prior to living my own life according to my own intuitions.
Teal is patient, kind, and willing to take the long route when it comes to an individual’s healing. I have witnessed this first hand, even in the midst of shadows Teal does not waver on trying to follow the best possible path from where she is at, and this resolve comes from her spiritual awareness of how it is people come to manifest painful or difficult situations in their lives. I have been greatly appreciative for the healing work that I have received from Teal, whether that was being walked on camera through the murky terrain of my subconscious, or the many patient explanations she has given me to get me to a place of greater spiritual or self awareness.
I have seen Teal in the midst of deep, painful and dark shadows—I have seen the way she handles these situations—what I have come to know about her better than anything else is her resolve, commitment and zeal for following the path she teaches to others. It’s how she saved herself, it models for others how to overcome great pain in life, it teaches by example. Teaching by example is perhaps the greatest indicator for purity of intent in a person who presents himself as a spiritual teacher to the world. If I have come to know anything since this time, it’s that I have never before seen purity of intention like I have seen it in Teal (… ever).
It has been my intention in the above to briefly convey my perspective that (a) Cameron’s latest tell-all interview is fraught with error and full of falsehoods (b) Jared (Fallon) Dobson had extremely nefarious intentions in bringing all of us together into one household, and that this created an emotionally toxic situation for all involved, including Cameron (c) Teal’s character is sound and her intentions for her pursuing the path of a spiritual teacher are pure, very pure.
I met Teal spring of 2003 and have lived with her for the majority of that time since. I have always described my life with Teal as Epic and like a wild, beautiful and magical roller coaster. She had just escaped from 13 years of consistent ritualistic abuse and torture. Her life was literally in a chaotic turmoil. I watched her fight for life every day. That first year she was seizuring every other day and cutting once a week. At the same time she was helping me navigate the loss of my brother and helping me find my own voice and helping me to see how I was desperately trying to escape myself. I had never seen anything like the pain she was going through. I saw that no-one had just been there for her and that is exactly what I wanted to do because of the compassion I had seen come from her towards other people. Teal’s Mind Blowing compassion for her abusers sent me into tears one night. I realized the power of this ability despite the atrocities done to her. Another thing that blew my mind about Teal was the consistent aim to see me attain my highest good regardless of whether it affected her life in a negative way. Even if it meant ending our relationship and her losing yet another supportive figure, she was constantly having me check with myself about the best decision for myself.
Growing up with a Mother that I was afraid of, I was incredibly good at placating people and giving them answers I thought they wanted to hear. At least I thought I was good at that until I met Teal and she saw straight through a false constructed personality built to protect myself from the world. We continued living together with various people over the next 10 years. She helped me with radical self acceptance, developing decision making within myself, living life passionately, not wasting time, listening to my intuition, standing up for myself and escaping my self defeating personality. She deconstructed the aspect of me that gave people the answers they wanted to hear to the detriment of my own voice. I helped her with stability, re-integrating physical touch as a loving act rather than an abusive act, true friendship and not needing anything from her for my presence and unconditional love.
Teal has always been a natural teacher and her desire to share her knowledge and teach finally overcame the fear of exposure to her former abusers 3 years ago. Since then I have been wanting to spread the message that helped me heal my life to others. When this message was spread, people started accepting it immediately and were healing their own lives with her words just like me. And people also shared our vision of what the world could be. With authentic communication, a desire to heal ourselves and others and living in a healthy manner in relation to ourselves and others, sicknesses became unhidden and sick aspects of our society also became glaringly apparent. Dreams were born to Reform the Justice System, Reform End of Life Care and form Healing Centers all over the world. Again others shared this vision and wanted to help us tackle these goals. We also saw a system of living that was inherently sick that involved nuclear families that were broken and alone. We are social beings, but we are being isolated and societal messages of Independence keep people apart. We saw intentional communities being an answer to this problem; similar to villages in early humanity where people help each other, eat together, build together, help raise the young etc… So much of the “Living Together” has been sucked from our society. We are separated as socially unacceptable of flawed vulnerabilities are kept behind closed doors.
Part of this dream to see a better world and using our company to facilitate this change and a desire for Intentional community inspired us to invite several volunteers into our home as intentional community members in the spring of 2013. One aspect of traditional villages and Intentional communities that we overlooked was that people generally like separated living quarters. Teal’s message of healing has come from both Universal Inspiration and healing from the darkest places that any human has traveled. She has experienced the loss of herself. Wishing for death as a reprieve from the pain. Living for years in torture as an abusers puppet in order to save her own family’s lives. Teal is a true warrior, to have survived first of all, and to attain the level of compassion and healing where life is simply OK, is a feat few can understand. For this she is a Beacon of Light to others that have experienced any form of suffering in this life. To simply see her life and know that life can be OK is enough to give the hope that so many are desperately grabbing for. A lot of people don’t survive through the suffering. They either break and die of misery, or their minds break and people become their enemy. In Teal’s ability to heal she often reaches these broken people and gives them hope, but often the road to healing is long, arduous and perhaps may never be completed in this lifetime. We unfortunately attracted a couple of these people into our community last year (Cameron and Fallon). And despite countless hours of work to help them heal, they were both still attached to the identity of being the victim because it was the only way for them to see themselves as good. They began to see Teal’s as the perpetrator. Our own boundaries and self preservation forced us to separate many in the community and we had to preserve the sanctity of our space.
One of the people who was invited to be a part of the community was Cameron. I must take partial responsibility for her addition to the community. Teal and Cameron met in Santa Barbara. When Teal met Cameron, she turned to me and said, “DO NOT let Cameron near this” (meaning our work). It was her opinion that Cameron needed a “perfect guru” and was unequipped to emotionally handle the reality that spiritual teachers get angry sometimes and sad sometimes. A person who cannot handle that truth, cannot be in the inner circle of support that a spiritual teacher builds around themselves. Fallon and I both ignored Teal’s advice and told her that she needed to practice unconditional love. We did not at that point see the side of Cameron that Teal saw immediately. We promised Teal that Cameron was so organized that she would help her immensely and we even promised that they would not have to spend time together. Teal reluctantly agreed. I regret doing that. In fact, even Fallon admitted to me and Teal on bended knee while apologizing to Teal that he regretted it after Cameron’s colors began to show. We did not understand that an intentional community has to be intentional. You have to select the members of a community based on who is capable of that kind of intense self-awareness and personal accountability. You can’t just throw people together and expect it to go smoothly. We found that out the hard way.
Cameron was not wanting to change her life, she wanted a savior and when Teal did not rescue her in the ways she wanted to be rescued, she became disillusioned and simply turned Teal into another person to blame as a perpetrator in her own victimhood. When Cameron was volunteering, she seemed to resent the fact that she was volunteering in the first place. Several times, she would offer to do things for Teal or the rest of us and then hold it against us later. She played the Martyr. She would feel threatened by Teal for reasons unbeknownst to us, she would then attack Teal out of the blue in her own house. Teal would spend hours talking Cameron through her pain into a space where it seemed as if genuine healing had taken place, only to have Cameron do the exact same thing the next day. When Teal was spending more time trying to restore harmony with Cameron than she was spending on her career, it became obvious that Cameron was not actually helping, she was taking away from Teal’s mission. It was a group decision, made by all of us in the community, including Cameron to temporarily separate her and Teal until more healing could be done.
A bit Later Cameron went to the Workshop in New York a year ago. A woman named Jo Jo showed up at the pre- workshop gallery show and went behind Teal’s back and managed to convince a group of people there that Teal was illuminati and that they should not attend the workshop the following day. Cameron was one of the people who easily fell in with Jo Jo. Because Cameron was already having trouble with Teal, Jo Jo provided the validation she needed to justify how she felt about Teal. Cameron then progressed after her return to try to convince every other volunteer that Teal was illuminati and was controlling their minds and that they had to stop supporting her. She has progressed to turn many of Teal’s advocates away from and against Teal. Teal is convinced this is a mirror of her experience of being brought up in a Mormon town.
Cameron wanted to go home from the minute she came here. When Teal decided she couldn’t live in the same house with Cameron given all of Cameron’s deep shadows that were reflecting through Teal, Cameron decided to leave the community of her own volition. She of course turned this into “being kicked out”. The day before Cameron left, Teal confronted Cameron on her “snake in the grass” behavior. Cameron laughed and said “what do you expect me to turn against you and start posting horrible stuff about you and try to ruin your career?” Teal looked her dead in the face with all of us present and said “Exactly”. We have all been blown away to see Teal’s prediction come true. This is exactly what Cameron has done. She has presented herself as an informant to Teal’s avid hater groups and considers herself credible because she lived with Teal. Only the rest of us (8 in total) have also lived with her and for much longer, and we completely disagree with her perspective about Teal and what Teal is like and how it is to live with Teal and in this community. Cameron felt threatened (I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand why). She then tried to turn everyone against each other and when she didn’t manage to do that, she betrayed us all and turned herself into the victim. It has been truly depressing and shocking to watch it unfold.
What has shocked us more is that people have taken what she has said seriously. I suppose because Cameron claims she lived with Teal (for two weeks) people instantly see what she says about her as valid and credible. This is why we have decided to respond to Cameron’s stance. By saying that she stands alone in her opinion of Teal and that is coming from people who have also lived with Teal for much, much longer than she did. We feel like living with Teal is difficult only because living in the same house with a Spiritual Teacher, means you can’t hide anything or escape yourself with Teal around. Living with Teal is like being on the fast track. But living with Teal is magic and epic and intense and inspiring. It is a blessing that many people will never be so lucky to experience. To me, it is incredibly unfortunate that we had to learn the lesson about how to do intentional communities right in this way. But the other aspects of intentional community, I have loved. And I intend to live and die in an intentional community. Teal and I intend to live the rest of our lives in the same intentional community. I would not have made that decision for my life if Teal were a bad person. With Teal, what you see is what you get. that’s the point isn’t it? Authenticity. With Teal, she is the same behind closed doors as she is in front of them. she is the same person on screen as she is in real life. And we will continue to spread our message of dreams, inspiration and healing and let people use them to heal their own lives. Nothing we say or do alone can change a person’s life. They have to be wanting the change as well. And many people do. Any time a great revolution rolls around, there will be great resistance to it.